“I don’t believe you have to be better than everybody else, I believe you have to better than you ever thought you could be.” Ken Venturi

In my young, rose-hued exuberance…. I had grand ideas.
However, in what seemed like a lifetime spent in wreckless abandon and scattered, I was lost. Self-medication was foremost to provide courage to live, purposefully through various addictions, incarcerations, and experiences good and otherwise.
I’ve learned a thing or two or three over the years…acceptance of what is and respect for what has been. Time and age have taught me resilience and tenacity to desire and make better life decisions, to trust myself and what God is in my life.
New courage emerged to walk in this new woman, in this season; there is thanks to be given in all things, good and not-so-good.
You can’t make this stuff uP! I realize how much I can create discord and uneasiness in myself that radiates out to others…this is No Goood, Charley!
Enter “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz
My spirituality guides my balance today through prayer and quiet to observe my thinking; a brief note of my benefit from these practical intents. I now endeavor to…
 honor my personal agreements – my thoughts and spoken words are powerful, I create boundaries where I’ve once had none.
 take nothing personally – it’s not about me, I’ve come to realize and understand what people think, say and do reflect them not me.
 don’t make assumptions – as Felix Unger would say “when you assume, you make an ass of you and me,” I ask questions, I get clarity.
 always do my best – maintain integrity in everything I do.
My spirit whispers …be consistent, now. Show up and commit to balance in the present moment. This is ongoing, habit-forming work that helps me to practice calmness. I get that.
I’ve fought to chase away the distractions in this becoming, and with the same gusto, I am now addicted to having my sh*t together!
Life requires my active participation, not my passive onlooking.
You see, when I get right down to it, “this moment is what it’s all about in my quest to live brave.”
Yes, The Queen will have a little “peace of mind” pie, thank you!
Stay Golden
?afm/drB

*** One last gem by Louise Hay…
“Turn every experience into an opportunity.”

From distraction to freedom
I know difficult relationship stuff, fully and intimately. So, with a thoughtful eye, I re-visit judgements on my maternal association.
I love her very much and moments of anxiety about our relationship have saddened me. The relationship has been a trying one with some interesting dynamics.

Nevertheless, I eventually became sufficiently “worn-out from carrying the weight of unforgiveness, I choose to drop it.”
Our bond has gotten better since returning home, I cuss and pray a lot! I’ve written on these feelings before; however, my lens at the time of that writing was still tainted.
Evergreen life lessons been learned in our relationship journeys. I now attempt to understand not just our relationship better but all my relationships better.

Here I am a woman of a certain age

From a healthier view, I realize “she & I” are one (in our generational family dysfunction). Two sides of the same coin…. shadow and light.
We share the same inner A**hat, the parts cracked, scared, hurting, defensive and too proud. The humor…this story is nothing novel.

Dorothy, I came home!
I once read an article where a woman reflected on her difficult mother/daughter relationship and her conflicted feelings.
My question after reading …. how do I reconcile a conflict of so many feelings?
My answer… right here in this space is how I heal and grow. Personal and emotional growth lie on the other side of willingness with an admission and acceptance that self-love begins here. As I heal, so does she. We are One. 

Monster & Magnificence, this is ME.

Stay Golden

💃afm/NdrB

songVibe: This Is Me/The Greatest Showman Soundtrak

Photo credit:

#1 Felicia Buitenwerf/Unsplash

Priscilla duPreez/Unsplash

K. Fulton, aka My Raqueletta Moss!

First, the set-up…

WHO is Raqueletta Moss?

This is a fictional character from a show called “She’s Gotta Have It.”

As an overcomer, she’s a woman who’s been through some pretty traumatic life experiences.

Even though, she becomes a mentor and strong influence on the main character of the show.

Now, WHO Is K. Fulton?

Well, let me tell ya!

K. Fulton was a wise, strong, no nonsense, compassionate, and supportive female presence at an interesting period in my life.

I saw her as all the things I thought I was not…. confident, magnificent, stately.

I was in awe of her presence and command!

What’s the connection? She’s my “Raqueletta Moss!”

Here’s why….

I was messing around trying to do something constructive, so I registered for classes at City College.

As a new and mature student who did not know what she wanted, I took a dance class.

This woman was my dance instructor and heroine.

When it came time to do our final, we had to recreate a piece we were taught.

In a beginners’ dance class, skill and proficiency were of varying levels.

For those of us who were dance challenged, we were scared sh*tless!

Fear and anticipation hung in the air, everyone wanted to put forth their best.

K. Fulton made a statement before we began our dance…

“Do your best, there are no victims in this class.”

The dance routines took many different expressions, and there was one team of two whose personify the title of this piece.

Their dancing was rhythmically challenged and their effort was admirable.

Life’s a class and it’s always in session.

I know you would agree and true enough, doing something new can be “shakin in u’r boots” scary, but living is scary too.

So, make choices to learn, experience, grow, transform, and love to defeat fear.

Moral of the story…. Scared?! Do it anyway!

Bring all you got with gusto and do your best in everything.

I remember K. Fulton lovingly, aka My Raqueletta Moss!

Stay Golden

?afm/drB

The Thought

This is a personal reflection.

2018 is shaping into the kind of year with big changes, revelations, epiphanies, and new possibilities on the horizon.

Seeds planted many moons ago are beginning to manifest.

It has been an intense 10 + years and I can now say I know my why……

This is a story about how I eventually became clear of its importance in my life.

Stop over and read the full post @ Medium

Manage Change like a Boss. Stay Golden

afm/drB